On being and non-being

The purpose of life is to recreate the experience of “oneness”. By this, I mean dissolution of the ego-self into a greater awareness, which encompasses all of creation. Another way to interpret this experience is as a merging into “nothing-ness”, which is, in my understanding, the objective of Buddhist teachings.

At first, there appears to be a contradiction between the concepts of oneness and nothingness. And this is characteristic of a dichotomy between the Western and Eastern mystical traditions. Where the Alchemical path of the esoteric schools of the West seeks the transformation of Self, the Eastern traditions seek the dissolution of self. In reality, these are paradoxes only from our limited perspective. Being, as we experience it, is a very limited form of awareness, one that is encompassed by our senses, our bodies, our thoughts, emotions, and reactions. We imagine that to be without these limitations, would be emptiness, a void. I think that, in fact, the merging of the individual self into the greater cosmic awareness is not to destroy the ego, but rather to stretch beyond it to infinity, to embrace all that is, and this can be seen either as being everything or as being nothing.

There is one other path. That is the path of negation, which is the end goal of our culture at large. The illusion of consumerism, of ego, of separateness is to give the appearance that we are utterly alone. It promises individuality in the form of ever-expanding desires that can never be sated (“have it your way”). At the same time, it promises community (be part of the “in” crowd, etc.), which is not true community at all, but rather a homogonous race of automatons, behaving, living, consuming exactly the same way as everyone else.

In all things, Lucifer is a mirror. Like his namesake, the Morning Star Venus, his light is one of a lesser reflection of a true light. The culture of illusion sells reflections of spiritual realities. But they never sell the substance, which can only ever be given or found. Thus, like hungry ghosts, we forgo our true search in exchange for never ending desires that never bring fulfillment.

Oracle Gathering

Tonight, I attended the Oracle Gathering here in Seattle (www.oraclegatherings.com). What an amazing gathering! These people really know how to do it right. We arrived just before midnight when they performed a science fiction techno opera. The show had to do with an imagined future in which the ultra-conservative party seeks to exterminate all dissidents, however meanwhile a Swedish scientist who is working on terraforming Mars, discovers this gemotric structure (a dodecadhedron with rotating Merkaba inside it, for all you sacred geoetry buffs), that is capable of allowing instantaneous travel through space. It was a really cool mix of inspired politics, esoteric symbolism, and great performances.

The music was at times hit or miss, but most of it was good, and the headliners were excellent. The cafe sold all raw, vegan, organic treats, including Thai coconuts. A number of workshops in various healing arts were offered. One room had a demonstration of "Brainwave Enhancement Signals", basically sounds you listen to on headphones that create altered states of consciousness (www.consciousnessconnector.com).
The thing that gets me is how similar in spirit this gathering was to ones I've been involved with in North Carolina, and with Burning Man, and so many other places. These gatherings refelct a genuine tribal community, one whose symbols, sacramaents, and practices are universal.
More later on this...

Meanwhile, the performance has reawakened enthusiasm for a major musical project I've been contemplating for years: a techno opera about Dionysus coming to modern America. Seeds are starting to sprout!
PD

Capitalism and Anarchy

I just read an interesting article on the bbc news website.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4020259.stm

The reason I bring this up is that part of my inspiration for starting this blog was a short email debate with my dear friend SF that came about as a result of an article I wrote defending capitalism. SF is an anarchist activist, and one of the sticking points for me about the anti-capitalist/anarchist position is that I don't necessarily see capitalism and anarchy as fundamentally opposed. Actually, capitalism in its idealized form would be a sort of economic anarchy. Anyway, this article struck me because it's an example where a technological industry has developed in the absense of a central authority. This might not be particularly unusual were it an industry related to basic necessities of life; people will always pull together to feed themselves. But the fact that in the absense of any government and in a state of great instability, internet service providers have thrived in Somalia, is very telling. To me, it speaks to the importance of communication, and the fact that access to information has evolved in significance to the level of a fundamental human drive.

I do not belive that the current structures of political/economic power are necessary to the existence of a technologically advanced society. Nor do I see them as the inevitable conclusion of capitalist theory.

I believe that humans, left to their own intelligence will inevitably create means to develop new tools of communication. Because for so long, the technology by which information was distributed was so specialized and difficult to manufacture, the power of information has been held by a very few, which gave them a great deal of power. The internet is the most decentralized, anarchist structure ever created. It is quickly tearing at the fabric of the information monopoly (which is, in response, working as quickly as possible to centralize itself through corporate media mergers, legislation, and geo-political maneuvering). As information becomes liberated from centralized methods of distribution, it becomes increasingly more important to choose with discernment what information to take in, and what to do with it. To me this is a very exciting time to be alive.

On a personal note, if you've read this far, you proably have noticed my rather tangential way of writing. This is how I think, and how I talk. I'll try to make concise points when it's appropriate. But otherwise, I'm just going to go with it for now. This is an experiment for me, and no doubt will evolve and change with time.
It's very late now, so I'm returning to the warm, dark bliss of my bed and companion.
Good night.
PanDoor

Welcome to PanDoor's Box

My name is PanDoor. This is my chosen name, and my given name as well. Not given by my parents, but by my divine, mad, intuitive higher Self. Perhaps at some point, I'll tell the story of how I came to be PanDoor. But for now, this will have to suffice.
Since I don't actually know who will read this, and whether I'll know you personally, it occurs to me that some basic information about me might be helpful for giving some context. For starters, my calling in this life is to be a mujician. That is to say that I am student of the Muse, and a worker of magic. In its practical application, this means that I am a composer, a pianist, and occasionally a performer of tricks both illusory and real. I bring this up because the subject of magic is of great interest to me, as is music, of course. Both will come into play in my narratives heavily.
Let's see, what else is essential background information? I won't try to spin my life into a single narrative, though occasionally stories may be told. I'm a storyteller, too (why else would I be writing this right now). In my stories, I will attempt to relate the truth, as I know it. I aspire to Truth in all things. However, my understandings of reality have led me to believe that Truth consists of much more than the factual detailing of physical events. Given this context, please realize that the truths I attempt to convey in my stories may not entirely translate into the language of historical narrative. Of course, for that matter, they'll probably be more factually correct than your average history text book.
So here is a short list of physical and temporal "facts" about myself. You'll proably find them quite dull, but since it may provide some readers with a bit of contextual insight into my mind, please indulge me this one brief paragraph. I am 29 years old at this moment, male, Caucasian, heteroflexible (more on this later), American in nationality, currently residing in the Pacific Northwest, where I share an apartment with my very wonderful partner, Ilsa. I was raised in an appallingly bland middle class suburb in the state of Florida, left at the first possible opportunity, and then moved to the mountains of North Carolina. I have lived there for over a decade, and have recently spent much time in various strange and seemingly alien places, and have landed here in Seattle. This is a temporary situation for me, and my objectives at present are as follows: to spend some time alone with Ilsa, to take in a more urban existence, to pay off some debts, to practice the piano, and to enjoy a respite from the emotional entanglements I had formed whilst living in my quiet mountain town for so many years.

There, that wasn't so bad, was it?

So you have the basics about me. Please forgive the brief narcissistic trip. Hell, if blogging isn't an excercise in ego-consciousness, I don't know what is. My hope is that this is more than an indulgence of my intellect, that it may in some manner bridge my inner world with the world of language and the conscious construction of ideas, and thus create an opening for inspiration to find form. That said, enjoy and feel free to send me comments back. Soon I will have samples of my music available online, as well.
Sincerely,
PanDoor